


What Was Once Lost

by KahlantheConfessor



Category: Protector of the Small - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-10
Updated: 2008-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-03 17:10:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1752374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahlantheConfessor/pseuds/KahlantheConfessor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>NealxKel Yamanis leave Tortall after death of heir and Neal confesses a love for Kel but Kel is still engaged to Dom. What happens when Dom finds out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Yamanis Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a really really long time ago, but it's my longest finished work to date so I have some pride in it.

Prologue

Queen Thayet sat in her Royal Throne. "I deeply regret your loss, Princess Shinokokami. I can not even imagine how I would feel if Prince Roald was killed. I deeply regret that you must leave us, Princess

Shinokokami and hope you may return to our empire again someday. If there is anything that Tortall can ever do for, just ask us, Your Highness."

"Thank you, Your Majesty. The Yamani Islands thanks you for allowing us to stay in your great palace and for sharing your excellent feasts.

"You are always welcome in the Yamani Palaces." said a quiet Princess Shinokokami.

"You may pack your things and leave for the Yamani Islands now, Princess. Godspeed and safe journey." Spoke King Jonathon.

"Thank you, Your Majesties." Bowed out the Yamani Party.


	2. Chapter 1: A Long Awaited Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my best friend and sister, then and now: Eva you know who you are.

Chapter 1

Keladry of Mindelan galloped though Corus, the capital of Tortall, on Peachblossom, Kel's horse. Her destination was her friend's, Nealen of Queenscove, townhouse. Jumping off in the courtyard, she rushed through the hurriedly-opened door.

"Lady Kel, He's in his room." Said the servant who had opened the door, now used to Kel's presences in the house.

"Thank you, Maundy" addressed a rushed Kel to the servant, Maundy.

Kel dashed up the stairs and entered the third door on the right. "Neal?" Kel said as she slowed down.

"I can't believe she's gone, Kel." Spoke a weeping Neal.

"Neal, I know how you feel. I lost two friends and the heir prince to the island of my childhood, remember?"

"Yes, I know but I loved her, Kel. You don't know how that feels."

"I'm hurt."

"Kel…I don't mean it like that."

"Then how do you mean it?"

"I mean you don't know how it feels to lose someone that you love that much and is that close to you."

"Says you."

"Kel…. Please listen."

"No, Neal, you listen. I lost someone I loved, too, you know? He was very very close to me. And he still is." Yelled Kel, stepping very close to Neal.

"Wwwhat do you mean?"

"Neal….." and Kel kissed him with everything she had in her. Neal, having once pushed aside his feelings for Kel, responded, pulling her down onto the bed with him. Moving his lipsto latch ontoher neck, he moaned her name. Slipping his hands under her shirt, he lift it above her head, pulling up her breastband with it. She slipped her hands under his shirt as well and pulled his shirt up as well. He pulled off her breeches. She pulled off his. He slid his hand inside her loin clothe and she turned off the light.

NealKelNealKelNealKelNealKelNealKelNealKelNealKelNealKel

Afterward, she curled around his body and fell asleep in his arms. He smoothed her hair and kissed it. Then he, too, fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 2: A Proposal Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Lady Dove, where ever you are, I hope you are well.

Chapter 2

"Sir Neal? Sir Neal? Are you in there? Sir Neal?" Kel woke-up to a loud banging.

"Oh hell. Neal, wake up. Neal? Come on. Wake up, Neal." Kel whispered.

"Huh?" said a sleepy Neal. "Wat's goin on?"

"Neal, it's dinnertime. Maundy's here. She's trying to get in. I can't she can't see us like this. We have Dom and everyone else to think about. Neal, please say something to her."

"Maundy?"

"Yes, Sir Neal?" answered Maundy.

"We must have dozed off. We'll be down in half an hour."

"Yes, Sir Neal, I'll keep it warm for you. Is Lady Kel…"

"Sir Kel." interrupted Kel.

"Is Sir Kel dining with you?"

"Yes, I will be. Thank you, Maundy." Said Kel. Maundy, taking this as a dismissal, headed back downstairs.

"That was close. Neal, no one can ever find out about this. It can't happen again." Kel stressed.

"Kel"

"Neal, it can't."

"But, Kel, I love you. I made love to you. That, that wasn't just canoodling. That was love-making. I love you."

"But what about Yuki?"

"Kel, I love you. Not Yuki, You. You, Keladry of Mindelan. Lady Knight of the realm of Tortall. You and no one else. Kel, I love you so much I want to marry you. Make you mine for all of time. Kel, please leave Dom. Please. I want to make you mine. I don't care what people say. I want you and if that was any clue, you want me, too. Kel, please." Neal proclaimed.


	4. Chapter 3: Complications

Chapter 3

Silence followed Neal's statement. "Kel? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that now. You're not ready for that."

Silence. "Kel? Kel, are you alright?"

"Neal?"

"Yes."

"I think I love you, too."

"Oh, Kel."

"We'll talk more later. Now, we're needed downstairs."

"Okay, Kel"

Neal got up and pulled his breeches back on. "Hey, Neal, can you pass me my clothes?"

Neal tossed her loincloth and breeches. Kel slid both over her legs.

"I wish you didn't have to do that." said Neal in a husky voice.

"Neal, you know I have to."

"I know but I wish you didn't." Neal said as he walked over to her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and started kissing her neck.

"Neal! We don't have time for this. We need to go downstairs."

"But, Kel, you taste so good."

"Mmn."

"See it feels good, doesn't it?"

"Mn, yes it does."

Neal pushed her onto the bed and slowly kissed his way down her body.

"Neal?"

"Yes" came a muffled voice.

"We need to stop."

Neal lifted his head up. "Why? You want me, I want you."

"Because someone might come in looking for us."

"So?"

"Neal, until we sort this out I don't want anyone to know about this, us, ok?"

"Fine" Neal got up again and pulled his shirt on. Kel lay there for a moment.

"Neal?"

"Yes."

"I want to do that but right now we need to go downstairs, ok?"

"Okay. I know."

Kel got up and pulled her breastband over her head and grabbed her shirt.

"Kel?"

"What, Neal?"

"Have you ever had um sex with Dom or Cleon?"

"No, Neal."

"Have you ever had sex with someone?"

"No, Neal. Have you ever with Yuki or anyone?"

"No."

"Oh."

They finished dressing and went downstairs.


	5. Chapter 4: Love Lost

Chapter 4

A week later:

"Yes?" Kel answered the knock at her door. In her rooms in the palace, she was expecting Neal. She gasped as the door opened.

"You looked surprised to see me." said Dom.

"I wasn't expecting you till next week. How did you get here so fast?"

"I flew."

"What?" asked a confused Kel.

"That was sarcasm, dear. I rode."

"That's not what I meant, Dom. I meant why are you here so early?"

"I'm hurt. What you don't want me here?"

"Dom."

"Kel."

"Of course I want you here but you wrote you wouldn't be here for another week if not more. Most people wonder when the person turns up earlier than planned. So are you going to tell me why you're here early?"

"We got away early so I went ahead of everyone else, who would come later with Third Company, to get here and be with you before we get sent out again."

"Dom, I didn't know you could be sweet."

"Of course I can." He bent down (A/N I'm not sure how tall Dom is so I'm going to make him taller than Kel.) and kissed her passionately.

"Kel, have you finished that book I let you borr…." Neal stopped his sentence short. His heart skipped three beats as he saw his love kissing his cousin. It took all his will power to not pull Dom off of Kel and beat him up. "I'll just leave you two alone." He walked out the door. Out of sight, he ran as fast as he could to his rooms. Back in Kel's room, Kel said "Dom, I have to go after him. He's my best friend."

"Of course, I understand. Go." Dom said quietly.

"Thanks, Dom." Kel left the room after Neal. After she left, Dom thought to himself, She loves him, Doesn't she?


	6. Chapter 5: A Promise

Chapter 5

Kel ran down the courtyard that separated the castle from the stables. "Neal. Come back here, Neal. We need to talk. Neal." Kel shouted. She reached the stables and threw the door opened. Neal was on his horse, about to gallop home. "Neal, wait."

"Kel, it's over. You still love him. I can't get between that. For all that I love you, you're my best friend, first and for most. I can't loss that. Not now after all this time."

"But, Neal, you can't just end this like this. Not now. Not when I still love you."

"Kel, don't say that."

"Don't say what, Neal. Don't say that I love you? That I've loved you since we were pages? That I want to marry you. Don't say that I want to be your wife, your supporter, the mother of your children, your everything?"

"Kel…"

"What, Neal? Don't say what?"

"Kel, I want to be your everything too, but you have to end it with Dom, not me but you. Until you can and do end it with Dom, me and you can't be. He's my cousin and your fiancée and neither of us can betray him not like this."

"Okay I'll end it with him tonight. I'll ask him to call off the wedding."

"Thank you." Neal pulled her to him and kissed her. "Until tonight, Pearl."

"Oh no, not you too. I had enough of that from Cleon, Gods Bless him and his children; I don't need it from you."

"Whatever you say, Queen of my Heart and of Lady Knights."

"Neal!"


	7. Chapter 6: No Love is Without Pain

Chapter 6- No Love is without Pain

Kel paced her room. She had just sent a page off with a note to Dom to come to her rooms. She loved Neal and knew she had to break it off with Dom. A hard knock rang through the room.

"Come in." She called. 'Here goes nothing.'

"Kel, what did you need?"

"Well see I want you to have this." She palmed his ring back into his hand.

"I don't understand."

"There's some else. Someone I thought I couldn't have."

"But I thought you loved me."

"I do love you, Dom, just not like I should. Please don't make this harder then it has it be. Try to understand from my point of view. I know you don't want to hear this right now. I thought I could marry you but I wouldn't be happy. I can't survive in a loveless marriage. Not when I don't love you like a husband. We'd just end up fighting and making each other miserable. I hope you understand."

"I do, I think. But this is going to take sometime, Kel. I want you to be happy even if I'm not happy right now. I do love you though Kelly. I'm going to go."

Dom turned away almost out the door before turning back. "Don't let Neal hurt you okay? Goodbye, Keladry of Mindelan. Good luck." Dom turned back and left. His heavy footsteps receding into the distance.

'Goodbye Dom. You'll make some woman very happy one day. Just not me.'


	8. Chapter 7: When Heartaches Hurts

Chapter 7: When Heartache Hurts.

Kel sat on her bed; her mind going over the events of the last two days. From her change in relationship with Neal to Dom returning to Neal running off to the proposal to Dom leaving. Kel had always loved Neal but she never got the vibe from Neal that he wanted anything more than friendship.

So she moved on first with Cleon then with Dom, loving each one but never letting go of her love for Neal. Yuki's departure had opened a world of opportunities to Kel that hadn't been there before. Hopefully one day, Yuki might forgive her but Neal was too important to her. She loved him with all her heart and couldn't wait for him to come.

Neal promised Kel he would come to her room's at 8 bells. The eight bells had just rung and Kel was waiting.

A loud banging sounded on her door. Kel jumped up throwing the door open, expecting Neal.

"Kel, come quick. Dom and Neal are fighting and I think it's over you." A red faced Owen said.

Kel yanked on her boots and followed Owen to one of the castle courtyards.

"Neal and I were walking. He said he had somewhere to be and out of nowhere Neal just gets tackled to the ground. It took me sometime to realize it was Dom. They wouldn't let me stop them so I came for you."

They came to a stop in front of a bawling pair. No one had gathered yet; thank Goddess, so it would be less embarrassing.

Kel through herself in the middle of Dom and Neal. Both trying to scratch at each other around her. She grabbed them both by the ear and dragged them to the nearest bench.

"What in the Goddess's name are you doing?"

"I don't know. He just attacked me."

"You stole my woman."

"I'm not a possession."

"She's not your woman if I can take her so easily."

"You want her just because I have her. You have never been able to let me have something if you didn't have it."

"I am not like that. I love Kel." Neal shouted.

"Well I love Kel."

"Well I want her."

"Well you can't have her." Dom hissed.

"Well neither can you."

"Would you just shut up already?" Kel yelled. "Dom, I already told you I don't love you like that and Neal, you should have walked away. I am so pissed right now. I can't even see straight. You two better work this out or you can both piss off."

"Kel wait…" They yelled at her retreating form.

"You two are real idiots, you know that?" Owen said. "She's trying not to hurt anyone and you both just hurt her feelings. If that's how you treat her, neither of you love her nor deserve her. Dom, go home. Maybe she'll forgive you later. Neal, go talk to her."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Dom walked off heading towards the stables for a middle night ride and Neal straightened himself up and made his way towards Kel's rooms.

Neal stood outside her door.

'Well, here goes nothing.' He knocked on her door.


	9. Chapter 8: Why Love Never Fails

Chapter 8: Why Love Never Fails

 

The door swung open.

"Look, Kel, I didn't mean to fight him. He just came at me and I just reacted because of my knight training and…" Neal started rambling.

"Neal, would you shut up," Kel growled "I know it wasn't your fault and I'm happy you fought in my honor. I was just angry at the time because both of you are idiots. So please stop screeching."

"I really am sorry."

"I broke up with him. Our engagement is off and I want to pursue a relationship with you but there needs to be rules," Kel said as they took a seat in her tiny living area, "No dating other people. If you want to date someone else, just talk to me. We both have just recently ended long-term relationships and this may be just recovering but I hope it isn't."

"Okay, I don't want you sneaking off in the middle of the night," Neal countered, "Several times, you've been given a mission and left without saying goodbye."

"Of course I'll say goodbye. For right now, let's keep this quiet from anyone but Owen. Our relationship has taken a rather big turn and I don't want anything upsetting it."

"So you got any other rules?"

"Nope, I'm good."

"Me, too. Can I kiss you now," Neal pleaded.

"Yeah." Neal leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in a soft loving kiss. Their kiss quickly turned passionate and Neal led her to her bed.

Neal lay her on it and covered her tall body with his own. His lips pressing into hers as their hips thrust together in similar need. Kel moaned at the intense feeling of warmth flooding her womb and the unbearable river of heat coursing through her veins. Her mind shut down as her need took over.

Neal groaned and pushed his hips against her equally pushing hips, pressing their bodies further into the mattress. He pushed off her tunic and his quickly followed. Their breeches hit the floor, followed quickly by loin clothes.

"Kel, I've never been happier in my life. You're my best friend and I love you."

"I love you, too but if you don't make love to me soon, I'm going to explode."

Neal slid into her opening heat and moved with her as one. Their bodies collided together in a hurried frenzy and they dissolved in a lake of never-ending love.

As they resurfaced, Neal wrapped his arms around and pulled up her comforter and cradled them both to a peaceful sleep.


	10. Epilogue: When Love Takes Root

Epilogue: When Love Takes Root

 

"Mother, I don't want to be a knight. I want to be a lady." Keladry yelled at her insistence mother.

"Why can't you be more like your sisters," Her mother yelled back, "They all our knights, serving their King and Kingdom. You are your grandmother's namesake and you won't even follow in her footsteps."

"Mary, let me speak with the girl," Keladry of Queenscove told her daughter.

"Yes, mamma." Mary of Goldenlake moved back into the manor home of her parent's country estate.

An aged Kel moved to sit next to her youngest granddaughter.

"Keladry, I know your mother wishes for you to follow in my footsteps and for that I've led her wrong," Kel spoke in soft tones, "I became a knight because I wanted to even when everyone said I couldn't do it. It was hard and it took a lot of courage to do that and sometimes I just wanted to quit but I had the support of my family. Your family will support you in whatever you choose to do. It's what I stand for and I shall not let any descendent of mine not be allowed to follow their dream. Be who you are and follow your own dream."

"I announce Lady Keladry of Goldenlake, Sirs Jasson, Mary, Alanna, and Margret of Goldenlake, and Sir Keladry of Queenscove."

Younger Keladry was making her first appearance at court with her family right by her side.

As the evening wore on and the excitement drew to a close, Kel took her granddaughter on a short walk to ask her if she was truly happy.

"That was the best night of my life, grandmamma. Me, a lady of the court, my dream has finally come true," Keladry whirled around.

"You are happy then." Kel asked.

"More than I ever dreamed of."

"I wish your grandfather was here to see this. He would be so proud."

"I do to."

"I will die a happy woman now that my family is happy."

"You don't mean…"

"Yes, child, I'm dying. I've known for a while now. It is my time to join Neal in the heavens but it's your time to shine, my child, and all the more reason for me to leave now."

"But there's still so much I wanted to learn from you."

"Keladry, if there's one thing I've learned from life is that I shall never be a lady so there for I can no longer be of service. I have served my kingdom and my king and I have lived a full and happy life. It is time for me to go to the Black God. You, my dear, have a whole new life ahead of you. Besides, I noticed the prince couldn't keep his eyes off you."

"Really you think so," Keladry exclaimed, her mind off her grandmother's soon departure.

"Yes, child, but stick close to your heart."

"You aren't going to see the morning, are you," Keladry asked sadly.

"I am afraid not but I do not fear the death. I have lost that fear many times over. I shall miss you dearly, heart, but never think I am far."

Keladry kissed her dying grandmother on the cheek and helped her off to bed.

"Goodnight, Grandmamma. I shall cherish you always."

Keladry of Queenscove, formerly of Mindelin closed her eyes for the last time, leaving the earth behind for the stars and her beloved, knowing she left her mark on the world.


End file.
